So I come back to the lyrics that awoke with me this morning…
“… just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that’s alright, cuz I like the way it hurts.”
Like everyone, I have made my fair share of mistakes I would like to forget, and I understand how easy it is to get wrapped up in the memories of who I used to be and think about the things I did or said, or allowed to happen to me or my children-things that today’s Cristin would never dream of… When I get in that space, it is easy to let others “stand there and watch me burn”, because the self destructive side of me “ likes the way it hurts”. But that is the old me.
I am grateful for my followers who recognize when I am burning and tell me jump in the water! I hope for my friend that the people he loves most will choose to follow his parade, learn the stories that shaped who he is today and watch the change as he learns to march to the beat of his own drum.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and in its own time. My life path is no different. I am grateful that I chose my family - both the one I was born into and the one I bore. That I chose the trials that have been mine, because for better or worse- they have given me life experience that has crafted me into the person I am today, and I like me. I am grateful that I have attracted these followers to my parade and that they are there because they choose to be, not because they feel obligated to stand and watch the parade march by. I feel so blessed and grateful this morning for those people… who take the time to follow because they love me.
I wish for each of you- loving followers to your parade, just waiting for you to be wonderful so they can yell out to support you, and willing to douse you in water the minute they see you start to burn…
From the bottom of my heart… Cristin