Communication is key...

...this is a mantra in my home. It has been for years, having the need for introduction when Nic, (my coming up on 20 yr old) became a teen some 6 or 7 years ago now. From the time he was old enough to speak, we realized that he was intelligent beyond his years, quite articulate and decided to cultivate that little brain to let him know he could do or be anything he wanted. Consequently, he grew up a little more arrogant than most children, and when he reached the blessed joy of puberty, his little brain- full of testosterone that didn't have a home yet- thought that HE ruled the roost. It then became my job as the mom, to teach him that he didn't.

One day we were having a disagreement about something and I told him that communication was key. If he wanted something, or wanted for me to understand something, it was his job to convey it.

Now this is the only time I can remember ever really smacking one of my kids...At this point, he was finally nose to nose with his mom, quickly becoming the 2nd tallest person in the house, (which granted, isn't very hard to do, but it meant something to him!) and those little hormones without a home, they decided to flare in my little 13 yr old boy. He puffed up his chest and got right in my face, as if to intimidate me into understanding HIS point of view. Unfortunately for him, he had never experienced the wrath of his mom before, and therefore was completely surprised when he found himself stumbling backward from the blow across the face he just received from... his mom! My next move? I got right up in his face and said, "Don't you EVER think that you can disrespect me like that. I am your mother! You may get bigger and taller, but you will NEVER do that again! Are we CLEAR?" Of course he said yes, through the tears spilling from his eyes...

I think I communicated my point quite well as I have 3 teenage boys now... all at least as tall as I am, and I have never had to be physical with any of them, and not one of them has ever thought about doing anything like that with me either...

I have shared with my kids the idea of this mantra so they understand what I mean when I say it. If you tell me what you are thinking and I can understand where your head is, the chances of us reaching a decision together are greater.

I just asked Jack... "Fill in the blank babe... Communication?" He said, "...is key!"

Getting some points across...