CHOOSING TO FOLLOW THE PARADE OF ANOTHER

I have a friend who I have come to love for many different reasons. I have only known him a relatively short while. Some months ago I saw his parade passing by and decided to watch a while. The more I watched the more I loved it and decided I would like to follow it. I chose to follow because of the strength in which he held his banner, because of the smile he had for everyone he passed, because he stopped to help when he saw someone getting trampled in the crowd of onlookers. I choose to keep following because of the stories I hear about where he has been, who he has seen and affected, and the choices he makes daily to be a better man. His path has been riddled with as much darkness, sadness and self destructive behavior as mine, and like me, he is making choices now to change it. To be the person he truly wants to be.

Like me, he was raised in the LDS faith, following the path laid out before him, making all the right choices: lived clean, worked hard, served a fantastic mission, got multiple degrees, had a temple marriage, children, successful jobs, money, callings, leadership… and ended up trying to smile over the lie his life had become, though a marriage devoid of friendship and love. Looking back, he made mistakes he can’t do anything about… but I am sorry…haven’t we all? Haven’t we all reached a crossroads at least once, and known we made the wrong decision? Can you go back and change it? No. You just have to do the best you can and move forward. Trying to do that… how many of us have had to deal with our bad choices being advertised to those we love most and the world we live in? And how many of us in spite of it all, have taken the opportunity to look our demon straight in the eye and tell him to go to hell? How many of us have had the strength to make the daily choice to push forward-smiling, even when the very blood running through our veins is screaming at us to make a different choice- to take the easier, more traveled road? My friend has… and he does.

Unlike me, those he cares about the most are not close to him, so they are missing out on the process. Because of their limited exposure, they only know what others tell them about him and remember the old version of him that wasn’t good to himself, or as good to others as he wanted but was not capable of being at the time. They don’t have the benefit of the great stories about him from when he was younger, or memories of the good man he tried to be under not so great circumstances, or watching the change happening now and seeing the wonderful man he IS- emerge from the ashes of the man they used to know…